Dear Nicole,

I’m a Freshman in college. I noticed that this one girl in my dorm likes me. Her friends told me before. I like her too but can’t talk to her. I’ve never had a girlfriend before or confessed my feelings to a girl. How can I stop being shy?

-Afraid

Note: The question has been edited for length and/or clarity.

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Dear Afraid,

You don’t have to confess your feelings to her right this minute. I suggest establishing a dialogue first. Try not to get overwhelmed with thoughts on whether or not you’re saying the right thing and so on.

Sometimes when we have a crush on someone, we’ve built up this image of them in our minds so we become our own worst enemy when it comes to approaching them.

Talk to her as if you were talking to a friend or someone you feel comfortable around.

If you’re a shy person, then that’s okay.

You don’t have to change your personality to approach your crush. But you do have to step out of your comfort zone.

The best thing about your situation is that you and your crush are in close proximity to each other and you share something in common. You go to the same university and live in the same dorm!

If you’re not sure what to talk about, your point of conversation can derive from those two things.

Try to get her number and see where things go from there. The key is to not let doubts and negative thoughts consume you.

Be yourself. Casually text her, and see where things go from there.

If you don’t talk to her you’ll never know if there is a spark between the two of you or not.

And regardless of the outcome, it’s good for your personal development. 

You’ve got this!

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Need advice, ask me, it’s totally anonymous!